I used to know this guy named Roger. He was a genuinely evil guy, but he was also very funny, which actually made him even more dangerous because he was pretty entertaining, and you know how people let their guard down when they’re amused. Anyway, he was not only funny in that he was humorous, he was also funny in that he was strange.
He was a very trashy person. His room was literally a garbage dump full of dirty clothes, pornographic magazines, fast food wrappers, empty soda and coffee cups, empty cigarette packs, beer cans, liquor bottles, hell, you name it. Under the trash there were forks, spoons and old plates with dried food on them. It literally looked like someone had dumped a couple trash cans full of garbage onto his room.
As you may have deduced from the beer cans and liquor bottles, he loved alcohol. He also loved cocaine, only he liked to cook it with baking soda and rock it up so he could smoke it. The funny thing was that even though he loved hard drugs, he was terrified of weed. He described to me some of the bad experiences he had while stoned, and I swear to God, they sounded a hundred times worse than even the most messed up acid trips I’ve read about.
I remember one he told me about. He had made the mistake of smoking weed with some people he knew and came home. His mother was vacuuming in the living room while talking to him about something, only to him, it sounded like she was furiously yelling at him, all the while the vacuum cleaner was also roaring louder and louder. The aggressive sounds just kept getting louder and louder till he could no longer stand the relentless assault on his ears, so he freaked out and fled the house in a panic and ran down the street while the hostile sounds seemed to follow him, echoing out into the world. It seemed to him people were yelling at him from across the street, dogs viciously barked at him as he ran by, even the birds seemed to be screaming down at him from up in the trees. I apologize, I’m not doing the story justice, it was much funnier the way he told it. He had another story that was downright hilarious about a similar thing happening to him one time when he got stoned at school.
Anyway, Roger could be a real jerk, and I have often thought that if I had more of a mean streak and was given to pulling practical jokes that it would have been fun to slip him a cannabis infused cookie or piece of candy and watch him flip out. Unfortunately, though, that would no longer be possible since I heard he died quite a few years ago. Apparently he died while smoking crack, so he must have died from cardiac arrest. I guess he was lucky he was killed by something he loved.
Loof Lirpa 